WHEN I THINK ON MY WAYS ...

When I think on my ways, I turn my feet to your testimonies...
Psalm 119:59

Bound in sin, my sinful nature always holds before me a vision of myself in contrast to others. According to this sin cast vision, I am always better than others, if not most.
Upon hearing God’s Word though, I receive another vision of myself that is in conflict with the vision my sinful pride casts for me.
I find that I have believed in a vision of myself contrary to the real me. For having received God’s Word, I receive a vision of myself as I really am.
Before me are two ways.
The one way is to reject God’s Word and do battle with what He says of me.
The other way is to turn to Him who has spoken this all revealing word and bow to His Word against me, that I might hear, and hear and be raised up by His Word for me in Jesus Christ.
Only when my heart has bowed to the Word of God’s Law against me, will my feet be ready to walk in the way of His testimonies of mercy and grace.
While I would readily admit that I must bow and be willing to bow to His Word against me, how lowly will my bowing be?
It is one thing to acknowledge that God has a righteous word against me in my sin, but it quite another for me to fully receive and bow to that Word against me.
For if I am to listen to the full Word of the Lord against me, I will be more than bowed down by it, I will be brought so low as to be crushed by it.
Am I willing, not just to bow, but to let the Word of God bow me so lowly as to be crushed?
God of mercy grant it to me.
If only I would be willing to be bowed so low as to be crushed God’s Word against me, how much sweeter and beautiful will be the feet of those who bring God’s Word for me in Jesus Christ.
If my faith will not allow me be so bowed, allow me to be so crushed, then I do not have a faith that will ever receive Him Who was crushed for my iniquities (Isaiah 53:5).
How shall I receive He Who …
was crushed as I am crushed by the Law,
was crushed as I am crushed by the righteous wrath of God,
and was crushed by my death …
if am not willing to bow to my own crushed condition.
It was for this purpose that Christ came and bowed Himself so lowly as to allow Himself to be crushed for my iniquities and raised for my resurrection from the dust.
Make me to think of my ways that I may turn to Your testimonies O Lord.
Bow me; crush me my Lord, that I may find You, where You found me.
Bow me, crush me my Lord, that I my feet may follow in the way of Your testimonies.
Amen.