I hold my life in my hand continually,
but I do not forget your law. Psalm 119:109
St. Jerome would teach me that to hold my life in my hand continually is a Hebraism that confesses a state of extreme peril.
Surely David was in peril at the hand of Saul.
How much more surely is my life in peril in the hand of myself, my sin, my sinfulness?
Do I even rightly grasp the extremeness of my peril in sin, my sin, my sinfulness?
Within my hands, surely my life is exposed, it is available to those who, greater than I would snatch it out of my hand.
Within my hand, surely my life is exposed to me a poor miserable sinner.
Within my hand, my life is at the mercy of what my sinful heart, via my hand. might give it up to.
Within my hand, surely I give my life up to the very thing I hate.
Within my hand, surely I seldom, if ever, give my life up to the good, the right things for me.
Within my hand, surely my life lies within the grasp of my sinful pride that would deceive me to be other than what my God has created me to be, the commandment of my God permits me to be.
Could there be anything more feeble, more perilous for my life to be in, than my own hand, for my hand is sinful and it continually fails.
Holding my life in my feeble hands, in the midst of such great peril, I am driven too often to forget You, forget Your law, O Lord.
Surely through the consequences of my life being in my hand, does your Law convict me of the truth that my hope lies not in my hand.
Surely I need a hand that is continuously greater than mine.
Surely I need a hand that can never and will never lose its grip, its hold of me.
Surely I need a hand to so grip me, so hold my life that I shall not be snatched away from that hand.
Grant that no matter the depth of my peril or the feebleness of my hand, I may ever remember Your Law, O Lord.
Grant that no matter what my hand has given my life up to, I may ever remember Your Law, O Lord.
For where I have Your Law continuously confronting me with my feebleness, and basis of my peril in sin,
than am I rightly driven to the Hand greater than mine,
only then do I rightly hear the offer of Your hand of grace that has so securely taken hold of my life, so as to have it engraved on Your hand.
Yea, even as my life was in peril, You put my life into the hand of Your only begotten Son.
Yea, even as I have forgotten Your law in the midst of my feebleness, Your right hand held me, held my life secure before the peril of Your Law and Your righteous wrath against me.
Yea, even as Your Right hand had secured my life to Himself on the Cross, so also did He secure me in You gracious Father, as He commended His spirit and mine into Your hands.
Amen to those who have said, and I shall also continuously say:
“The right hand of the Lord does valiantly, the right hand of the Lord exalts, the right hand of the Lord does valiantly!” I shall not die, but I shall live, and recount the deeds of the Lord.” Psalms 118:15-17
My times are in your hand; rescue me from the hand of my enemies and constantly rescue me from my hand. Psalms 31:15
Keep me O Lord, in Your baptismal grip that I may have life by Your hand continuously here and in eternity, through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen