By the wedding ring of faith Christ shares in the sins, death, and pains of hell which are his bride’s.

On the Cross, when Christ prayed to His Father, "... forgive them for they know not what they do.", this was His "I will" to the question, "Will you have this person, this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife."  
In baptism, the believer responds "I will" through the confession of faith to the question, "will you have this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" 
Luther wondrously unpacks the bonds, blessings and beauty of this marriage of Jesus Christ to you, to me ... to the Holy Christian Church through faith. 

... incomparable benefit of faith is that it unites the soul with Christ as a bride is united with her bridegroom. By this mystery, as the Apostle teaches, Christ and the soul become one flesh [Eph. 5:31–32]. And if they are one flesh and there is between them a true marriage—indeed the most perfect of all marriages, since human marriages are but poor examples of this one true marriage—it follows that everything they have they hold in common, the good as well as the evil. Accordingly the believing soul can boast of and glory in whatever Christ has as though it were its own, and whatever the soul has Christ claims as his own. Let us compare these and we shall see inestimable benefits. 
Christ is full of grace, life, and salvation. 
The soul is full of sins, death, and damnation. 
Now let faith come between them and sins, death, and damnation will be Christ’s, while grace, life, and salvation will be the soul’s; for if Christ is a bridegroom, he must take upon himself the things which are his bride’s and bestow upon her the things that are his. If he gives her his body and very self, how shall he not give her all that is his? And if he takes the body of the bride, how shall he not take all that is hers?
Here we have a most pleasing vision not only of communion but of a blessed struggle and victory and salvation and redemption. Christ is God and man in one person. He has neither sinned nor died, and is not condemned, and he cannot sin, die, or be condemned; his righteousness, life, and salvation are unconquerable, eternal, omnipotent. 
By the wedding ring of faith he shares in the sins, death, and pains of hell which are his bride’s. As a matter of fact, he makes them his own and acts as if they were his own and as if he himself had sinned; he suffered, died, and descended into hell that he might overcome them all. 
Now since it was such a one who did all this, and death and hell could not swallow him up, these were necessarily swallowed up by him in a mighty duel; for his righteousness is greater than the sins of all men, his life stronger than death, his salvation more invincible than hell. 
Thus the believing soul by means of the pledge of its faith is free in Christ, its bridegroom, free from all sins, secure against death and hell, and is endowed with the eternal righteousness, life, and salvation of Christ its bridegroom. 
So he takes to himself a glorious bride, “without spot or wrinkle, cleansing her by the washing of water with the word” [Cf. Eph. 5:26–27] of life, that is, by faith in the Word of life, righteousness, and salvation. 
In this way he marries her in faith, steadfast love, and in mercies, righteousness, and justice, as Hos. 2[:19–20] says.
Who then can fully appreciate what this royal marriage means? 
Who can understand the riches of the glory of this grace? 
Here this rich and divine bridegroom Christ marries this poor, wicked harlot, redeems her from all her evil, and adorns her with all his goodness. Her sins cannot now destroy her, since they are laid upon Christ and swallowed up by him.
And she has that righteousness in Christ, her husband, of which she may boast as of her own and which she can confidently display alongside her sins in the face of death and hell and say, “If I have sinned, yet my Christ, in whom I believe, has not sinned, and all his is mine and all mine is his,” as the bride in the Song of Solomon [2:16] says, “My beloved is mine and I am his.” 
This is what Paul means when he says in I Cor. 15[:57], “Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ,” that is, the victory over sin and death, as he also says there, “The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law” [I Cor. 15:56].

Martin Luther - LW 31 pp. 352-352 

ACCEPTING GOD’S WILL

A great piece from Dr. Scott Murray's Memorial Moment - Tuesday of Easter 5

The church and her children constantly pray that the Lord's will would be done on earth as it is in heaven in the words of the Lord's Prayer. Yet when the Lord's will is done we often grumble about it, pouting that the Lord's will does not quite square with our own opinion and will. So when we are praying that the Lord's will would be done, it is a prayer that we should receive it as such, in faith and full confidence of the divine grace. The Lord's will is done. There is no question about that. Our problem is merely one of faith. We would like God's will to look somewhat differently! "Why can't His will be more like my own?" Thankfully, the Lord does not give us what we wish for, because all too often, what we wish for would not be good for us.

It is a measurement of our human incapacity that we are so full of wishful thinking. When we say "That is wishful thinking," we are reflecting on the impossibility of the wish. It's never going to happen. The Lord's will is the precise opposite. What He wills is done on earth as it is in heaven. Notice that in English we never describe God's will as a "wish." The word is far too weak. This is why we are praying that we would accept the will of God in our lives. So it was for Christ who suffered in the Garden, asking His heavenly Father to take the cup of suffering from Him, but finally that God's will would be done in His life (Lk 22:41-44). God's will brings struggle and trial into the life of God's Son. He agonizes about what is to come and He composes His will so that it would sing harmony with the will of His Father. He accepts the cross and all of its suffering.

God's will often implies suffering for those who accept it. This is why it is no simple thing to live in the will of God. We often desire God to recompose His will to suit our wishes: "God, couldn't I hit the lottery? Just once?" The Lord's will means that our lives, present and future, are in His gracious hands. We need to recognize this, especially when that will implies our suffering with Christ and for his gospel (Mk 10:29). Yesterday's Wall Street Journal ran a review of two books critical of the power of positive thinking ("Everything will be fine, if we just think happy thoughts."). One of the authors, inveterate liberal polemicist Barbara Ehrenreich panned "the long history of positive thinking in America, which might be summarized thus: dour 18th-century Calvinism begat floaty 19th-century New Thought, which begat 20th-century New Ageism, Norman Vincent Peale and today's mega-church 'prosperity gospel'" (WSJ, 12 October 2009). Here Ehrenreich is right on track. Your happy thinking cannot trump the will of God. We don't claim to know exactly how God's will is being played out in our lives, but we pray that we can bear it when it we are set in the midst of it. Christ Himself lived this way for us.

Cyprian of Carthage

"We ought to remember that we should do not our own will, but God's, in accordance with what our Lord has bidden us to pray daily. How preposterous and absurd it is, that while we ask that the will of God should be done, yet when God calls and summons us from this world, we should not at once obey the command of His will! We struggle and resist, and after the manner of disobedient servants we are dragged to the presence of the Lord with sadness and grief, departing hence under the bondage of necessity, not with the obedience of free will. We wish to be honored with heavenly rewards by Him to whom we come unwillingly. Why, then, do we pray and ask that the kingdom of heaven may come, if the captivity of earth delights us? Why with frequently repeated prayers do we entreat and beg that the day of His kingdom may hasten, if our greater desires and stronger wishes are to obey the devil here, rather than to reign with Christ?" 

Cyprian, On Mortality, 18

How to destroy a church in 4 simple steps.

A really awesome piece by Tim Challis on how churches SELF-destruct, and wonder of wonders, the Lord had Paul tell Timothy, and us, how they do it to themselves.

An important thing for the reader to realize that it is by the same path that believers can, and sadly do, self-destruct the faith the Lord has given them.

Destroy a Church in 4 Simple Steps

By Tim Challis   -  April 28, 2014

http://www.challies.com/articles/destroy-a-church-in-4-simple-steps  

A short time ago I learned of a church building in our neighborhood that was for sale. For years now Grace Fellowship Church has been looking for a building of our own, so we thought we should go and give it a look. This had once been a thriving congregation. Faithful Christians had given sacrificially to construct that building. They had consecrated it to the Lord and had worshipped there for many years. Yet now that building was deserted, decaying, and up for sale.

What happened? How did that church go from thriving to dying? How did it slide from healthy to sick to dead? I think I know. I think Paul tells us in his second letter to Timothy, the letter he wrote just days or weeks before his death. There, in chapter 4, he looks into the future, he sees a church being destroyed, and he warns us how it happens. It’s as straightforward as four simple steps.

Before we get to those four steps we need to see one critical piece of information: this church self-destructs. The church is not closed down through government persecution; it is not afflicted by cultural pressure and does not succumb to the attacks of another religion. This church is eroded from the inside, from within the membership. This church is destroyed by people claiming to act in the name of Jesus.

Here are those four simple steps that lead to a church’s self-destruction.

STEP 1: REJECT TRUTH

Paul warns Timothy that “They will turn away from listening to the truth.” The first step in destroying a church is turning away from what is true, losing interest in the truth as God reveals it, growing weary of what God says is true and lovely. What was once a love of truth becomes a dislike and then disgust toward truth; what was once a hatred of error becomes an intrigue and interest in error. Hearts begin to harden.

STEP 2: REJECT TRUTH-TELLERS

As they turn away from the truth, they necessarily turn against the truth-tellers. So Paul tells Timothy that in that day to come, “They will not endure sound teaching.” It’s not that people won’t know what is true, but that they won’t endure what is true. Because they have come to hate the truth, they will now hate those who proclaim the truth. The very teachers that once drew them will now repulse them.

STEP 3: EMBRACE FALSE TEACHERS

This church has rejected the truth and those who teach the truth. Now what? It is obvious and inevitable: They will embrace false teachers. “Having itching ears, they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions.” As these people become hardened in sin, as they grow in their rebellion, they will want to be led by people who tell them those things they want to hear. Paul uses a great word-picture to describe this: itching ears. These are ears that want to be tickled by novelty, by something that will be respectable to society and palatable to a godless world. They will soon find this kind of teacher who will justify their turning away from truth and who will validate them in their rebellion.

STEP FOUR: EMBRACE FALSE DOCTRINE

Once they have rejected truth and truth-tellers, and once they have found teachers who will tickle their itching ears, “They will wander off into myths.” They will now embrace full-out error, full out heresy. They will become hardened in their sin so they will now believe error is good and true. They will become so deluded and rebellious that they will celebrate what God hates and do it all in the name of God. They will wander off, just like dumb sheep wandering away from their good shepherd.The narrow road to salvation has no room to wander, but that broad road to destruction has all the room they need to wander this way and that.

And they will die. In the end, those who claim to have acted in the name of Christ will be shown to hate Christ. That church, that congregation, will die.

What happened to the church that once worshiped in the building we visited and wanted to buy? The people developed itching ears. They would no longer endure sound teaching, and accumulated for themselves teachers to suit their own passions. They turned away from listening to the truth and wandered off into myths.

The evidence of those myths was plain to see. Their hymn book had songs like “Mother and God” which says, “Mother and God, to you we sing: wide is your womb, warm is your wing.” Their web site featured a video about a pastor undergoing gender reassignment with the full support of his church. Their literature explicitly denied that Christ is the only way to God, saying “God works in our world by a mysterious Spirit that knows no distinction at the doorway of a Christian chapel; Buddhist, Hindu, or Sikh temple; Aboriginal sweat lodge, Muslim mosque, or Jewish synagogue.”

We did not get that building. That building was sold and, if I understand correctly, will soon be torn down. In the end the denominational leaders charged with selling it did not want the gospel in that building, they wanted money out of that building. They needed the money to help support two more of their floundering congregations that will inevitably soon be gone as well.

Two thousand years ago Paul wrote to young Timothy and told him exactly how this church, and so many like it, would die. He also gave Timothy a charge that would keep his own church from experiencing similar destruction and from wavering through the time of itching ears. But I will save that for another day.

God’s glory is slain for my glory.

“Your glory, O Israel, is slain on your high places! How the mighty have fallen!”  2 Samuel 1:19

Lord God, Heavenly Father, I have no glory.

My glory was slain the moment of my conception in sin,

while I was carried high in the womb of my mother.

I was brought forth with no glory,

Born fallen and slain in my iniquities.

Let me see in Christ my glory,

He comes to fall because I am fallen.

He comes to be slain because I am slain.

He comes to be slain

and to fall on the high places

so that His Father sees and accepts

His glorious sacrifice and falling for me.

I dwell in the valley of the shadow of His death

on the high places where He was slain.

God’s glory is slain for my glory.

He who was lifted up has drawn me to Himself

and now He falls upon me in the shadow of death

and I am saved.

I see not His glory that He has made to fall upon me

because I dwell in the shadow of death.

Yet, I need only have the water to fall upon me with the Word

and I am born again in my glory, Jesus Christ.

I need only hear His Word of forgiveness

and I am set free in my glory, Jesus Christ.

I need only have the bread and the wine with the Word

fall upon my tongue

and I am feed and nourished

by the body and blood of my glory, Jesus Christ.

Surely I need only hear His Word

falling upon my ears, my heart, my life

and I am strengthened and renewed

to live by faith and not by sight,

in my glory, Jesus Christ.

Lord have mercy and let it be!

Christ have mercy and be this to me!

Lord have mercy and mercy me!

pmwl

Have mercy, Lord .... I cannot straighten, what I have bent ...

Have mercy, O most gracious Father.

Have mercy, and hear my prayer. 

Woe unto me for I am truly a whitewashed tomb, 

lovely on the outside 

and yet full of death and uncleanness on the inside.

You have purified me 

and yet by my own desires and sinfulness, 

I fill myself with selfish and self-serving ways in which I live, 

and love myself above all else.

I cannot purify, what I have made impure.

I cannot straighten, what I have bent.

I cannot make clean, what I have made filthy.

I cannot save, what I have lost.

I cannot make holy, what I have made unholy.

I cannot make alive, that which I have killed.

For the sake of Jesus Christ, 

whom I crucified by the agents of my sins, 

and You made alive by Your power of the resurrection, 

have mercy upon me and forgive me. 

Have mercy, O Lord. 

Have mercy, O Christ.

Amen. 

- pmwl

Nothing is so securing as Your love, Nothing so safe as Your ...

Have mercy Lord,

have mercy and hear my prayer.

Many are the dangers that attend my sinful life in this fallen world,

Many more are my sins that rightly deserve such dangers.

I cannot rightly account one danger,

Neither can I foresee the other aright.

Such is my wretched condition in sin,

Such is the bondage and blindness of sinfulness.

Holy Lord, blessed and loving Lord,

Nothing is so securing as Your love,

Nothing so safe as Your protection,

Nothing so saving as Your mercies,

Nothing so supplying as Your grace.

Yet, what one of these have I not so carelessly neglected,

That You would be justified in denying me any of the others.

You have wooed me in mercy,

Yet I have refused to come.

You graciously invite and call me –

By Your continual preservation,

By Your providential sustenance,

By Your tender corrections,

By Your faithful promises,

And by Your rich works of love and mercy.

Blessed Lord, have mercy,

Have mercy and hear my prayer.

How wonderful are Your compassions toward me,

When I am so ungrateful for Your many blessings,

When I am unmindful of my own miseries,

Even then, You graciously provide for me,

And yet for all this,

I have not yet seriously resolved to worship You,

To serve You in faith.

Such, and so many are my sins,

So great is my unthankfulness,

That I now tremble to appear before You;

And Yet so tender is Your mercy to me,

That You again call me, invite me to Your comfort and consolations in Christ.

Into the wounds of Christ I plunge myself,

Into the wounds of Christ do I cast myself and my sins,

For the healing of my wounded soul,

For the cleansing of my filthy soul,

For the forgiveness of my guilty soul,

For the hiding of myself in Him,

Who even in death is my life, Jesus Christ.

Have mercy, O Lord!

Have mercy and grant me - 

Strength in my weakness,

Support in my feebleness,

Comfort in my grievings,

Protection in my vulnerability,

Peace in my turmoil,

Conviction in my doubts,

Hope in my despair,

Preservation in my losses,

Forgiveness in my guilt,

And life in my dying,

Which is Jesus Christ,

For me and in me.

Yeh, Lord, have mercy,

Have mercy and hear my prayer.

Amen.

- pmwl 

I have … wearied Your patience, abused Your goodness ...

Have mercy, O Lord,

Have mercy, and hear my prayer.

Holy God, holy and most righteous Lord,

You alone are the source of all life.

You are the eternal Creator of men and angels,

You are the Sovereign of heaven and earth.

All who dwell on the earth are before Your eyes,

Every word of every language is heard by Your ears,

And every thought of every person,

You alone, O Lord, know them all together.

You do not delight in evil,

You take no pleasure in wickedness,

Surely sin cannot dwell with You.

How then, O Lord, can I presume to come before You?

Surely You have rightly judged me guilty,

For I have provoked Your righteous wrath.

Surely, most surely, I have …

Wearied Your patience,

Abused Your goodness,

Rejected Your authority,

Burdened Your Holy Spirit.

How have I not by my thoughts, words and deeds,

Said to You:

“Depart from me!

I do not desire the knowing of Your ways!

I have not want of Your Word!”

Yet, O Lord, my God,

I prostrate myself at Your mercy.

If You should mark my iniquities,

How shall I stand?

If You do not pity me, I am undone.

Surely You are patient,

Not willing that any should be lost.

I know that You have sworn by Yourself,

That You do not take pleasure in the death of anyone,

But desire that all turn to You from our ways,

That in repentance and faith we might live.

Surely You have delivered up Your own Son for us all,

That through Him, You might freely give us all things.

I appeal to You through Him,

Whom You have sent

to be the Way, the Truth and the Life,

That I might find You gracious and merciful to me a sinner.

Forgive me and awaken my conscience,

Enlighten my knowledge of myself and my sin,

That I might know my depravity,

Know my misery and my helplessness,

And rightly esteem the blessings of the Gospel in Jesus Christ.

Only in this way will I be able in faith,

To rightly rejoice in

the suitableness,

the full-sufficiency

and perfect willingness of Christ to be - 

my Savior from sin and death,

my Wisdom in foolishness,

my Righteousness in wickedness,

my Sanctification in un-holiness,

and my Redemption in debt.

As Prophet, grant me to hear Christ’s Word and heed it.

As High Priest, grant me to rely on Christ’s sacrifice and intercession.

As King, grant me to honor and obey Christ.

Have mercy, O Lord.

Have mercy, O Christ.

Have mercy, O Lord and be gracious to me.

Amen.

- pmwl 

As High Priest, grant me to rely on Christ’s sacrifice and intercession ...

Have mercy, O Lord,

Have mercy, and hear my prayer.

Holy God, holy and most righteous Lord,

You alone are the source of all life.

You are the eternal Creator of men and angels,

You are the Sovereign of heaven and earth.

All who dwell on the earth are before Your eyes,

Every word of every language is heard by Your ears,

And every thought of every person,

You alone, O Lord, know them all together.

You do not delight in evil,

You take no pleasure in wickedness,

Surely sin cannot dwell with You.

How then, O Lord, can I presume to come before You?

Surely You have rightly judged me guilty,

For I have provoked Your righteous wrath.

Surely, most surely, I have …

Wearied Your patience,

Abused Your goodness,

Rejected Your authority,

Burdened Your Holy Spirit.

How have I not by my thoughts, words and deeds,

Said to You:

“Depart from me!

I do not desire the knowing of Your ways!

I have no want of Your Word!”

Yet, O Lord, my God,

I prostrate myself at Your mercy.

If You should mark my iniquities,

How shall I stand?

If You do not pity me, I am undone.

Surely You are patient,

Not willing that any should be lost.

I know that You have sworn by Yourself,

That You do not take pleasure in the death of anyone,

But desire that all turn to You from our ways,

That in repentance and faith we might live.

Surely You have delivered up Your own Son for us all,

That through Him, You might freely give us all things.

I appeal to You through Him,

You have sent to be the Way, the Truth and the Life,

That I might find You gracious and merciful to me a sinner.

Forgive me and awaken my conscience,

Enlighten my knowledge of myself and my sin,

That I might know my depravity, my misery and my helplessness,

And right esteem the blessings of the Gospel in Jesus Christ.

Only in this way will I be able in faith,

To rightly rejoice in

The suitableness,

The full-sufficiency

And perfect willingness of Christ to be

My Savior from sin and death,

My Wisdom in foolishness,

My Righteousness in wickedness,

My Sanctification in un-holiness,

And my Redemption in debt.

As Prophet, grant me to hear Christ’s Word and heed it.

As High Priest, grant me to rely on Christ’s sacrifice and intercession.

As King, grant me to honor and obey Christ.

Have mercy, O Lord.

Have mercy, O Christ.

Have mercy, O Lord and be gracious to me. Amen. 

- pmwl

I am stained as scarlet, Yet Christ is my washing white ...

Have mercy, O Lord.

Have mercy, O Christ, and be gracious to me.

Surely my heart has cause to despair

If I but inventory myself and my doing.

I am lost,

Yet Christ is my being found.

I am in bondage to sin,

Yet Christ is my salvation, free and eternal.

I am surely weak,

Yet Christ is my strength even in weakness.

I am most impoverished and needy,

Yet Christ is my unsearchable and eternal riches of heaven. 

I am stained as scarlet,

Yet Christ is my washing white as wool by His blood.

I am darkness,

Yet Christ is my light and my life.

I am sin and I keep on sinning,

Yet Christ is my sin so that I am His righteousness.

I am dead,

Yet Christ is my resurrection and everlasting life.

Have mercy Lord,

Keep me in the baptismal union You have made with me,

Keep me in the Words of eternal life You speak to me,

Keep me in the one true faith to which You have called me by the Gospel,

And keep me as the apple of Your eye.

Have mercy, O Lord,

Have mercy, O Christ and be gracious to me,

For I am in You and You are in me,

To the glory of God the Father.

Amen.

pmwl

You alone are mindful of my bane and bondage in sin,

Lord have mercy and hear my prayer.

Lord have mercy and be gracious to me for the sake of Christ. Amen.

Blessed and Almighty God,

You have no need of anything,

No words, no works, no thoughts from me,

For You are God and out of You comes all things.

Yet, unless I receive all things from You,

I am undone and can be only nothing.

Such was Adam and Eve apart from Your creating,

Even more so now in sin.

My life, my living and my way

Are not in me, nor from me.

I, like all, great and small,

Am perpetually dependent upon You, Who in creating me,

has taken charge of me and my temporal and eternal welfare.

Grant that I may rightly acknowledge this and give You thanks.

Surely when no eye can pity me according to my need,

You alone are mindful of my bane and bondage in sin,

You alone were glad to come to my aid,

You alone were willing to send He who is able enough to answer for me and my doings,

Yeh, from You alone has come my rescue,

God out of God to deal with God for me,

Light out of Light to shine the Light of life in my darkness,

Very God of very God to completely bear my grief and carry my sorrows,

Even Jesus Christ, my Lord.

Have mercy O Lord, have mercy in Christ.

Grant that He who has become all things for me through faith,

May through faith be all things through me and from me,

To God and to my neighbor.

Grant that He who has walked the way of service and sorrow to the cross,

May through faith walk me in His steps according to my crosses this day and all my days,

Until I shall see Him from whom and in whom

is my living and moving,

Even Jesus Christ.

Lord have mercy on me,

Lord have mercy and be gracious to me for the sake of Christ. Amen.

pmwl

Refrain my presumption and willfulness

Take stock of me, O my soul, and cry out to the Lord,

Cry for mercy, O my soul, for I am a sinner.

Have mercy, O Lord, have mercy,

For I have been most undutiful to You,

Envious and uncaring to my neighbor,

Hypocritical to the world

And deceitful to my own soul.

Have mercy, O Lord, have mercy,

For You have promised to forgive those who repent,

To cleanse all unrighteousness 

by the blood of He who bled for sinners;

To ease those who are burdened and heavy laden,

by He who is the sin bearer; 

To raise up those that have fallen,

by He who descended to the depths;

To satisfy those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

by He who fasted and thirsted; 

And to bind up the brokenhearted,

by He who's heart was pierced for my transgressions.

O blessed Fountain of all goodness and mercy,

You who desire not the death of the sinner,

But rather that I should repent and live,

Have mercy and forgive me.

Let Your power, O blessed Father,

Sustain me in my weakness.

Let Your grace, O blessed Son,

Save me in my lack,

Let Your sanctification, O blessed Spirit,

Refrain my presumption and willfulness.

This I pray, O blessed Trinity,

That though I be divided against myself,

I may in my baptism,

Be forever united and one with You, 

Father, Son and Holy Spirit. 

Have mercy, O blessed Jesus Christ,

Have mercy and be gracious to me,

Holy Lord. Amen.

pmwl 

Mr. Self-Destruction - by Pastor Riley

This is an awesome piece that wonderfully speaks the truth of our lives in sin and the greater truth for us in Jesus Christ.  Wonderfully done!!!  Thank you Pastor Riley!

MR. SELF DESTRUCTION

Posted on March 15, 2014 by Pastor Riley's Blog under Uncategorized

I was Mr. Self Destruct. There was no relationship I could not drag down and use up. No truth from which I would not run. No need I did not need to satisfy more. Denial, guilt, and fear controlled me. The hatred with which I hated myself controlled me; because I was worthless.

As St. Paul put it, I am predestined for the Good News of Jesus Christ. I am chosen to believe that He made me His destination. He knew me when He wove me together in the secret of my mother’s womb. He stopped the hands on the clock when I thought ticking time was running out. When everything slipped away He grabbed hold of it all for me, stayed with me, brought me near, to give Himself to me. God lowered Himself to me, to pick me up off the garbage heap.

I was worthless as a pen that does not write. More than that, I thought I was born into it. My very existence was worth nothing. I was destined to be used up then thrown away.

Even a godless man can embrace predestination. From the start the poisonous idea grew: Drive people away before they realize the truth, or prove myself invaluable to them. The fruit of power and coercion. A bitter harvest.

For the broken-hearted, who believe in opposition to experience and reason that they are not worth anything to anyone, truth is not going to change the way they lie. They believe they do not live an ordinary life.

I am forty-two years old now. Heart-breaking love from and for my wife and children means less confusion. The illusion that I felt was unreal. When I fell apart, the worst of all, time and memory used me up and threw me away, God reached down to take hold of what He had made and declared that it was very good.

I don’t wonder who I am supposed to be anymore. I live an ordinary life. I live a life by faith in the Son of God who let Himself be used up and thrown away for me.

Even though the belief still lurks in the darkness of my imagination, I do not define myself by who I think I am supposed to be. Who I am is who I am supposed to be in relation to the Son of God. “I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

My need, my values, my hopes that traverse the length of my heart to the brain, are planted and nurtured, plucked up and pulled out, by the one who was treated as human refuse. The man who died in a dump behind the city some two thousand years in the past. The Suffering Servant who willingly took my place on the garbage heap. The same Jesus who, I believe, rose from the dead, rose up into the heavens, who on the Last Day will raise me and all the dead, and give to me and all my brothers and sisters in Christ a seat at the eternal, heavenly feast.

“Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters.”

I have made permissible what I have known not to be ...

Woe to me, O my soul,

For in my presumption,

I am left without a desire to repent,

I know not if my sorrow is godly or self-pity.

Surely I have wearied myself,

By my constant presumption upon the Lord’s mercy,

I have made permissible what I have known not to be,

Leaving my conscience seared 

and me unsure of what is truth and what is not,

And I am in anguish of heart and bitterness of soul.

Have mercy, O Lord, have mercy on me!

Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean,

Wash me, wash all of me and I shall be clean.

Surely I am a great and grievous sinner,

My origin defiled the moment of my conception,

My birth stained,

My youth ensnared,

My adulthood corrupted,

My age bespotted.

My imaginations vain,

My thoughts sinful,

My words wicked,

My actions abominable,

My life and my all surely a sink of sin and all uncleanliness.

I desire You, O Lord,

I desire Your mercies O Lord,

Not that I may presume upon them,

But that I may confess myself and my sins 

for what I am and what I have done,

And here You speak to me the words of eternal life.

O Lord, merciful Lord,

Create in me a clean heart,

Renew a right understanding of You,

Of Your mercies

And of my life in them.

Have mercy, O Christ,

Have mercy and be gracious to me,

Good Lord. Amen.

pmwl

Presumptuous Sins - ... by my presumptuous living, I have mocked His mercy ...

Surely I am most vain, O my soul,

How pathetic must my condition be,

That I would presume on the mercy of God.

How can I be so foolish to believe

God shall freely favor me in the very thing,

That He has so severely punished His own Son?

How absurdly foolish I am to think that the holy blood of Jesus was shed so that I might cherish sin?

Awake! Awake! O my soul,

Do not be deceived,

The Christ who is come to save,

Also calls me and all to repentance.

What kind of nonsense would you think O my soul,

So as to say by my actions,

That because God is merciful, 

patient and abounding in love,

I am free to abuse 

His mercies in sinning,

His patience by continuing to freely sin,

and His great love by my lack of love?

Surely by my presumptuous living,

I have mocked His mercy,  

Defied His Word,

And invited His wrath.

Do not be so foolish O my soul,

To believe that God is so merciful,

That He shall be untrue to Himself.

All the ways of God are love,

Each is filled with mercies brand new,

And eternal truth.

Surely the Lord is my all in all, O my soul,

Out of Himself, He freely grants me:

Mercy to support me in my weakness,

Truth to reveal Him to me in my error,

And love to find me when I am lost.

Have mercy, O Lord, have mercy and be gracious to me.

Great is Your faithfulness and favor,

Surely it last to all generations,

To all those who call upon You.

Have mercy, O Lord, have mercy and forgive me.

“If You, O LORD, should mark iniquities,

O Lord, who could stand?

But with You there is forgiveness,

that You may be feared.

I wait for the LORD,

my soul waits,

and in his word I hope.” Ps 130:3-5

Wait for the Lord, O my soul,

Hope in Him, O my soul,

And wait for Him.

For though I am dead in my trespasses,

The Living God makes alive in Christ,

Having forgiven me all my trespasses,

By canceling the record of debt that stands against me

With all its legal demands.

He has set this aside, set it apart from me,

By nailing it to the cross of Christ. Co 2:13-14.

Look to the Lord and repent, O my soul,

“For with the LORD there is steadfast love, and with Him is plentiful redemption.” Ps 130:7

Have mercy, O Christ,

have mercy and be gracious to me. Amen.

pmwl