Have mercy, Lord .... I cannot straighten, what I have bent ...

Have mercy, O most gracious Father.

Have mercy, and hear my prayer. 

Woe unto me for I am truly a whitewashed tomb, 

lovely on the outside 

and yet full of death and uncleanness on the inside.

You have purified me 

and yet by my own desires and sinfulness, 

I fill myself with selfish and self-serving ways in which I live, 

and love myself above all else.

I cannot purify, what I have made impure.

I cannot straighten, what I have bent.

I cannot make clean, what I have made filthy.

I cannot save, what I have lost.

I cannot make holy, what I have made unholy.

I cannot make alive, that which I have killed.

For the sake of Jesus Christ, 

whom I crucified by the agents of my sins, 

and You made alive by Your power of the resurrection, 

have mercy upon me and forgive me. 

Have mercy, O Lord. 

Have mercy, O Christ.

Amen. 

- pmwl

Nothing is so securing as Your love, Nothing so safe as Your ...

Have mercy Lord,

have mercy and hear my prayer.

Many are the dangers that attend my sinful life in this fallen world,

Many more are my sins that rightly deserve such dangers.

I cannot rightly account one danger,

Neither can I foresee the other aright.

Such is my wretched condition in sin,

Such is the bondage and blindness of sinfulness.

Holy Lord, blessed and loving Lord,

Nothing is so securing as Your love,

Nothing so safe as Your protection,

Nothing so saving as Your mercies,

Nothing so supplying as Your grace.

Yet, what one of these have I not so carelessly neglected,

That You would be justified in denying me any of the others.

You have wooed me in mercy,

Yet I have refused to come.

You graciously invite and call me –

By Your continual preservation,

By Your providential sustenance,

By Your tender corrections,

By Your faithful promises,

And by Your rich works of love and mercy.

Blessed Lord, have mercy,

Have mercy and hear my prayer.

How wonderful are Your compassions toward me,

When I am so ungrateful for Your many blessings,

When I am unmindful of my own miseries,

Even then, You graciously provide for me,

And yet for all this,

I have not yet seriously resolved to worship You,

To serve You in faith.

Such, and so many are my sins,

So great is my unthankfulness,

That I now tremble to appear before You;

And Yet so tender is Your mercy to me,

That You again call me, invite me to Your comfort and consolations in Christ.

Into the wounds of Christ I plunge myself,

Into the wounds of Christ do I cast myself and my sins,

For the healing of my wounded soul,

For the cleansing of my filthy soul,

For the forgiveness of my guilty soul,

For the hiding of myself in Him,

Who even in death is my life, Jesus Christ.

Have mercy, O Lord!

Have mercy and grant me - 

Strength in my weakness,

Support in my feebleness,

Comfort in my grievings,

Protection in my vulnerability,

Peace in my turmoil,

Conviction in my doubts,

Hope in my despair,

Preservation in my losses,

Forgiveness in my guilt,

And life in my dying,

Which is Jesus Christ,

For me and in me.

Yeh, Lord, have mercy,

Have mercy and hear my prayer.

Amen.

- pmwl 

I have … wearied Your patience, abused Your goodness ...

Have mercy, O Lord,

Have mercy, and hear my prayer.

Holy God, holy and most righteous Lord,

You alone are the source of all life.

You are the eternal Creator of men and angels,

You are the Sovereign of heaven and earth.

All who dwell on the earth are before Your eyes,

Every word of every language is heard by Your ears,

And every thought of every person,

You alone, O Lord, know them all together.

You do not delight in evil,

You take no pleasure in wickedness,

Surely sin cannot dwell with You.

How then, O Lord, can I presume to come before You?

Surely You have rightly judged me guilty,

For I have provoked Your righteous wrath.

Surely, most surely, I have …

Wearied Your patience,

Abused Your goodness,

Rejected Your authority,

Burdened Your Holy Spirit.

How have I not by my thoughts, words and deeds,

Said to You:

“Depart from me!

I do not desire the knowing of Your ways!

I have not want of Your Word!”

Yet, O Lord, my God,

I prostrate myself at Your mercy.

If You should mark my iniquities,

How shall I stand?

If You do not pity me, I am undone.

Surely You are patient,

Not willing that any should be lost.

I know that You have sworn by Yourself,

That You do not take pleasure in the death of anyone,

But desire that all turn to You from our ways,

That in repentance and faith we might live.

Surely You have delivered up Your own Son for us all,

That through Him, You might freely give us all things.

I appeal to You through Him,

Whom You have sent

to be the Way, the Truth and the Life,

That I might find You gracious and merciful to me a sinner.

Forgive me and awaken my conscience,

Enlighten my knowledge of myself and my sin,

That I might know my depravity,

Know my misery and my helplessness,

And rightly esteem the blessings of the Gospel in Jesus Christ.

Only in this way will I be able in faith,

To rightly rejoice in

the suitableness,

the full-sufficiency

and perfect willingness of Christ to be - 

my Savior from sin and death,

my Wisdom in foolishness,

my Righteousness in wickedness,

my Sanctification in un-holiness,

and my Redemption in debt.

As Prophet, grant me to hear Christ’s Word and heed it.

As High Priest, grant me to rely on Christ’s sacrifice and intercession.

As King, grant me to honor and obey Christ.

Have mercy, O Lord.

Have mercy, O Christ.

Have mercy, O Lord and be gracious to me.

Amen.

- pmwl 

As High Priest, grant me to rely on Christ’s sacrifice and intercession ...

Have mercy, O Lord,

Have mercy, and hear my prayer.

Holy God, holy and most righteous Lord,

You alone are the source of all life.

You are the eternal Creator of men and angels,

You are the Sovereign of heaven and earth.

All who dwell on the earth are before Your eyes,

Every word of every language is heard by Your ears,

And every thought of every person,

You alone, O Lord, know them all together.

You do not delight in evil,

You take no pleasure in wickedness,

Surely sin cannot dwell with You.

How then, O Lord, can I presume to come before You?

Surely You have rightly judged me guilty,

For I have provoked Your righteous wrath.

Surely, most surely, I have …

Wearied Your patience,

Abused Your goodness,

Rejected Your authority,

Burdened Your Holy Spirit.

How have I not by my thoughts, words and deeds,

Said to You:

“Depart from me!

I do not desire the knowing of Your ways!

I have no want of Your Word!”

Yet, O Lord, my God,

I prostrate myself at Your mercy.

If You should mark my iniquities,

How shall I stand?

If You do not pity me, I am undone.

Surely You are patient,

Not willing that any should be lost.

I know that You have sworn by Yourself,

That You do not take pleasure in the death of anyone,

But desire that all turn to You from our ways,

That in repentance and faith we might live.

Surely You have delivered up Your own Son for us all,

That through Him, You might freely give us all things.

I appeal to You through Him,

You have sent to be the Way, the Truth and the Life,

That I might find You gracious and merciful to me a sinner.

Forgive me and awaken my conscience,

Enlighten my knowledge of myself and my sin,

That I might know my depravity, my misery and my helplessness,

And right esteem the blessings of the Gospel in Jesus Christ.

Only in this way will I be able in faith,

To rightly rejoice in

The suitableness,

The full-sufficiency

And perfect willingness of Christ to be

My Savior from sin and death,

My Wisdom in foolishness,

My Righteousness in wickedness,

My Sanctification in un-holiness,

And my Redemption in debt.

As Prophet, grant me to hear Christ’s Word and heed it.

As High Priest, grant me to rely on Christ’s sacrifice and intercession.

As King, grant me to honor and obey Christ.

Have mercy, O Lord.

Have mercy, O Christ.

Have mercy, O Lord and be gracious to me. Amen. 

- pmwl

I am stained as scarlet, Yet Christ is my washing white ...

Have mercy, O Lord.

Have mercy, O Christ, and be gracious to me.

Surely my heart has cause to despair

If I but inventory myself and my doing.

I am lost,

Yet Christ is my being found.

I am in bondage to sin,

Yet Christ is my salvation, free and eternal.

I am surely weak,

Yet Christ is my strength even in weakness.

I am most impoverished and needy,

Yet Christ is my unsearchable and eternal riches of heaven. 

I am stained as scarlet,

Yet Christ is my washing white as wool by His blood.

I am darkness,

Yet Christ is my light and my life.

I am sin and I keep on sinning,

Yet Christ is my sin so that I am His righteousness.

I am dead,

Yet Christ is my resurrection and everlasting life.

Have mercy Lord,

Keep me in the baptismal union You have made with me,

Keep me in the Words of eternal life You speak to me,

Keep me in the one true faith to which You have called me by the Gospel,

And keep me as the apple of Your eye.

Have mercy, O Lord,

Have mercy, O Christ and be gracious to me,

For I am in You and You are in me,

To the glory of God the Father.

Amen.

pmwl

You alone are mindful of my bane and bondage in sin,

Lord have mercy and hear my prayer.

Lord have mercy and be gracious to me for the sake of Christ. Amen.

Blessed and Almighty God,

You have no need of anything,

No words, no works, no thoughts from me,

For You are God and out of You comes all things.

Yet, unless I receive all things from You,

I am undone and can be only nothing.

Such was Adam and Eve apart from Your creating,

Even more so now in sin.

My life, my living and my way

Are not in me, nor from me.

I, like all, great and small,

Am perpetually dependent upon You, Who in creating me,

has taken charge of me and my temporal and eternal welfare.

Grant that I may rightly acknowledge this and give You thanks.

Surely when no eye can pity me according to my need,

You alone are mindful of my bane and bondage in sin,

You alone were glad to come to my aid,

You alone were willing to send He who is able enough to answer for me and my doings,

Yeh, from You alone has come my rescue,

God out of God to deal with God for me,

Light out of Light to shine the Light of life in my darkness,

Very God of very God to completely bear my grief and carry my sorrows,

Even Jesus Christ, my Lord.

Have mercy O Lord, have mercy in Christ.

Grant that He who has become all things for me through faith,

May through faith be all things through me and from me,

To God and to my neighbor.

Grant that He who has walked the way of service and sorrow to the cross,

May through faith walk me in His steps according to my crosses this day and all my days,

Until I shall see Him from whom and in whom

is my living and moving,

Even Jesus Christ.

Lord have mercy on me,

Lord have mercy and be gracious to me for the sake of Christ. Amen.

pmwl

Refrain my presumption and willfulness

Take stock of me, O my soul, and cry out to the Lord,

Cry for mercy, O my soul, for I am a sinner.

Have mercy, O Lord, have mercy,

For I have been most undutiful to You,

Envious and uncaring to my neighbor,

Hypocritical to the world

And deceitful to my own soul.

Have mercy, O Lord, have mercy,

For You have promised to forgive those who repent,

To cleanse all unrighteousness 

by the blood of He who bled for sinners;

To ease those who are burdened and heavy laden,

by He who is the sin bearer; 

To raise up those that have fallen,

by He who descended to the depths;

To satisfy those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

by He who fasted and thirsted; 

And to bind up the brokenhearted,

by He who's heart was pierced for my transgressions.

O blessed Fountain of all goodness and mercy,

You who desire not the death of the sinner,

But rather that I should repent and live,

Have mercy and forgive me.

Let Your power, O blessed Father,

Sustain me in my weakness.

Let Your grace, O blessed Son,

Save me in my lack,

Let Your sanctification, O blessed Spirit,

Refrain my presumption and willfulness.

This I pray, O blessed Trinity,

That though I be divided against myself,

I may in my baptism,

Be forever united and one with You, 

Father, Son and Holy Spirit. 

Have mercy, O blessed Jesus Christ,

Have mercy and be gracious to me,

Holy Lord. Amen.

pmwl 

Mr. Self-Destruction - by Pastor Riley

This is an awesome piece that wonderfully speaks the truth of our lives in sin and the greater truth for us in Jesus Christ.  Wonderfully done!!!  Thank you Pastor Riley!

MR. SELF DESTRUCTION

Posted on March 15, 2014 by Pastor Riley's Blog under Uncategorized

I was Mr. Self Destruct. There was no relationship I could not drag down and use up. No truth from which I would not run. No need I did not need to satisfy more. Denial, guilt, and fear controlled me. The hatred with which I hated myself controlled me; because I was worthless.

As St. Paul put it, I am predestined for the Good News of Jesus Christ. I am chosen to believe that He made me His destination. He knew me when He wove me together in the secret of my mother’s womb. He stopped the hands on the clock when I thought ticking time was running out. When everything slipped away He grabbed hold of it all for me, stayed with me, brought me near, to give Himself to me. God lowered Himself to me, to pick me up off the garbage heap.

I was worthless as a pen that does not write. More than that, I thought I was born into it. My very existence was worth nothing. I was destined to be used up then thrown away.

Even a godless man can embrace predestination. From the start the poisonous idea grew: Drive people away before they realize the truth, or prove myself invaluable to them. The fruit of power and coercion. A bitter harvest.

For the broken-hearted, who believe in opposition to experience and reason that they are not worth anything to anyone, truth is not going to change the way they lie. They believe they do not live an ordinary life.

I am forty-two years old now. Heart-breaking love from and for my wife and children means less confusion. The illusion that I felt was unreal. When I fell apart, the worst of all, time and memory used me up and threw me away, God reached down to take hold of what He had made and declared that it was very good.

I don’t wonder who I am supposed to be anymore. I live an ordinary life. I live a life by faith in the Son of God who let Himself be used up and thrown away for me.

Even though the belief still lurks in the darkness of my imagination, I do not define myself by who I think I am supposed to be. Who I am is who I am supposed to be in relation to the Son of God. “I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

My need, my values, my hopes that traverse the length of my heart to the brain, are planted and nurtured, plucked up and pulled out, by the one who was treated as human refuse. The man who died in a dump behind the city some two thousand years in the past. The Suffering Servant who willingly took my place on the garbage heap. The same Jesus who, I believe, rose from the dead, rose up into the heavens, who on the Last Day will raise me and all the dead, and give to me and all my brothers and sisters in Christ a seat at the eternal, heavenly feast.

“Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters.”

I have made permissible what I have known not to be ...

Woe to me, O my soul,

For in my presumption,

I am left without a desire to repent,

I know not if my sorrow is godly or self-pity.

Surely I have wearied myself,

By my constant presumption upon the Lord’s mercy,

I have made permissible what I have known not to be,

Leaving my conscience seared 

and me unsure of what is truth and what is not,

And I am in anguish of heart and bitterness of soul.

Have mercy, O Lord, have mercy on me!

Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean,

Wash me, wash all of me and I shall be clean.

Surely I am a great and grievous sinner,

My origin defiled the moment of my conception,

My birth stained,

My youth ensnared,

My adulthood corrupted,

My age bespotted.

My imaginations vain,

My thoughts sinful,

My words wicked,

My actions abominable,

My life and my all surely a sink of sin and all uncleanliness.

I desire You, O Lord,

I desire Your mercies O Lord,

Not that I may presume upon them,

But that I may confess myself and my sins 

for what I am and what I have done,

And here You speak to me the words of eternal life.

O Lord, merciful Lord,

Create in me a clean heart,

Renew a right understanding of You,

Of Your mercies

And of my life in them.

Have mercy, O Christ,

Have mercy and be gracious to me,

Good Lord. Amen.

pmwl

Presumptuous Sins - ... by my presumptuous living, I have mocked His mercy ...

Surely I am most vain, O my soul,

How pathetic must my condition be,

That I would presume on the mercy of God.

How can I be so foolish to believe

God shall freely favor me in the very thing,

That He has so severely punished His own Son?

How absurdly foolish I am to think that the holy blood of Jesus was shed so that I might cherish sin?

Awake! Awake! O my soul,

Do not be deceived,

The Christ who is come to save,

Also calls me and all to repentance.

What kind of nonsense would you think O my soul,

So as to say by my actions,

That because God is merciful, 

patient and abounding in love,

I am free to abuse 

His mercies in sinning,

His patience by continuing to freely sin,

and His great love by my lack of love?

Surely by my presumptuous living,

I have mocked His mercy,  

Defied His Word,

And invited His wrath.

Do not be so foolish O my soul,

To believe that God is so merciful,

That He shall be untrue to Himself.

All the ways of God are love,

Each is filled with mercies brand new,

And eternal truth.

Surely the Lord is my all in all, O my soul,

Out of Himself, He freely grants me:

Mercy to support me in my weakness,

Truth to reveal Him to me in my error,

And love to find me when I am lost.

Have mercy, O Lord, have mercy and be gracious to me.

Great is Your faithfulness and favor,

Surely it last to all generations,

To all those who call upon You.

Have mercy, O Lord, have mercy and forgive me.

“If You, O LORD, should mark iniquities,

O Lord, who could stand?

But with You there is forgiveness,

that You may be feared.

I wait for the LORD,

my soul waits,

and in his word I hope.” Ps 130:3-5

Wait for the Lord, O my soul,

Hope in Him, O my soul,

And wait for Him.

For though I am dead in my trespasses,

The Living God makes alive in Christ,

Having forgiven me all my trespasses,

By canceling the record of debt that stands against me

With all its legal demands.

He has set this aside, set it apart from me,

By nailing it to the cross of Christ. Co 2:13-14.

Look to the Lord and repent, O my soul,

“For with the LORD there is steadfast love, and with Him is plentiful redemption.” Ps 130:7

Have mercy, O Christ,

have mercy and be gracious to me. Amen.

pmwl 

What God is so loving that He sends His Son ...

Blessed are the people who know the festal shout, who walk, O LORD, in the light of your face … Psalm 89:15 (ESV)

God my God, my Father God,
I must confess to You that too often I am like those who does not know the festal shout.
Surely I have heard it from Your servants!
Surely I have read it from Your sacred Scriptures!
Surely I have proclaimed this festal shout!
Yet just as surely, I have not known this shout!
For too often my itching ears long for some other shout that will say and save what my sinful flesh hungers for.
And I have made my walk, not in the light of Your face, but in the light of men’s faces,
Hoping that in the light of their faces I shall hear the shouts that will set me free to indulge myself and forget my responsibilities to God and my neighbor.
Yet, I find that in the light of their faces and in the sounds of their shouts –
there is no light, no shout that can that set me free from me and the darkness that is mine in sin.
How sadly do I lament that so often it is only here, in the bondage of my own sinful darkness,
that I long to hear and know that festal shout.
How sadly do I lament that too often it is only here,
in the darkness that all human light brings,
that I long to see the “light of your face”,
let alone walk in it.
Yet it is here, in this darkness that I fear the festal shouts,
“Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:10-11
What God, what a glorious God is He who has loves us, loves me!
What God is so loving that He sends His Son,
to have Him know my sinful shout,
and know the deafening silence of God against my sinful shout,
that I might forever hear and know the festal shout of God’s forgiveness in His Son.
What God is so loving that He sends His Son,
to have Him walk in the darkness of my face and walk in the darkness of God’s face against my darkened face,
that I might forever walk the light of Lord’s forgiving face upon me in His Son.
What is the Festal shout?
What is the light of God’s face?
Surely it only and always the Lord Jesus Christ, 
only begotten Son of God and Son of man. 

Give me ears to hear Your festal shout!
Lead my heart to walk in the light of Your face!
Make my spirit to exalt in Your name!
Exalt me in Your righteousness,
because You are the glory of my strength,
and by Your good favor, my horn is exalted.
Exalt me in Your righteousness,
because my shield is You, O Lord,
my King, my Holy One, my Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen. (Ps 89:16-18)

- pmwl

Lest I stagger away from You, as a blind man from his rescuer and guide.

"Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law." Psalm 119:18

Lord have mercy, and open my eyes.

I confess my blindness in the hearing of Your Word.

Surely my ears may hear Your words,

But I see nothing in the hearing.

Surely I may know the words You speak,

Yet I have no spiritual sight.

Because it is Your Word,

It teems with great and wondrous treasures it bestows on the one who is given sight;

Awesome and awful are the marvels and wonders it works on the one who is able to see;

Many are the miracles it bears and brings to the one who is made to see;

Multitudes of mysteries does it reveal to the one who is given eyes to see;

Sacred secrets are unveiled to the one who is given vision;

And eternal life and living it births and sustains in the one who is enabled to look.

Yet, being conceived and born in sin,

I am blind, and am powerless of myself,

To have any sight and seeing in Your Word.

Have mercy Lord, and open my eyes.

As you opened the eyes of man born blind,

So open my eyes that the wonderful works of God may be displayed in my life.

My lack of vision is not due to any obscurity in Your Word,

I do not ask that You make Your Word simpler or plainer,

I pray have mercy and open my eyes,

That I may see the simple and plain truth

of You and Your steadfast love for me.

Blessed Lord, You asked the two blind men outside Jericho, (Mk 10)

“What would you have me do for you?”

The prayer of both was the same as mine:

“Lord, let our eyes be opened.”

And yet, O Lord, I would beg more of You,

Where You provide the privilege of sight,

Let me never neglect this privilege,

Nor what You show me in Your Word,

Lest I stagger away from You,

as a blind man from his rescuer and guide.

Blessed Lord, have mercy,

I place my eyes and my prayer in Christ,

and pray, open my eyes. Amen.

pmwl

Yet, still You call to me, You say to me, LIVE..

Blessed God and holy Father,

I flee this hour to Your rich mercies.

For I have sinned and freely done what is evil in Your sight.

If I but reflect moment on Your great goodness to me,

And my own vileness in sin to You,

I am surely ashamed to appear in Your sight.

You constantly call me to repentance,

But I have refused to listened, I have refused to turned.

You lovingly invite me to Your mercies, new each morning,

Yet I have knowingly and willingly sought others.

You have graciously offered me Christ’s righteousness for mine,

Yet I have preferred my own.

You cloth me in the clothing of Christ Himself,

Yet I have recklessly torn and tattered them.

You enrich me with Your grace,

Yet I have robbed You of the honor due.

You give to me a contrite heart,

Yet I am not rightly grieved over my sins.

You give me a believing heart,

Yet I do not trust You.

All this, and more, You do for me even now in Jesus Christ,

Yet for all this, I have been most rebellious,

and unconscious of You.

Seeing all this,

a mere fraction of what You see in me,

what can I expect from You,

but the death my sin has rightly earned me.

Yet, still You call to me,

You say to me, LIVE.

O Steadfast Love, even Jesus Christ

grant to my sinful and sorry soul,

Your rich streams of forgiveness,

That flow from Your Holy Wounds.

Open the eyes of faith for me,

Let me see You in Your great patience,

Let me see You in Your great goodness,

Let me see You In Your mercies that never come to an end.

Have mercy O Lord, have mercy.

Let me hear Your words of eternal life,

Let Your Spirit revive me in the life of Christ,

And let Your great love keep in the truth faith unto life eternal.

IN Christ! Amen.

 pmwl

... in Whom I now thrust my sinful self, body and soul ...

A CONFESSION OF SINS - I

Blessed Lord, 

I confess that in the midst of Your goodness and mercy toward me,

The course of my life and living 

has been turn in rebellion against You and my neighbor.

My eyes are satisfied only 

with what I do not have and cannot have.

My tongue has a taste only 

for those words that judge, hurt, find fault and belittle.

My ears are tuned only

to the sounds of personal praise and commendation.

My hands have a touch only 

for taking and holding.

My feet are fit only 

for running after selfish gain and gratification.

My heart is filled only 

with love of self and all that indulges me.

I am most rightly ready for destruction.

Surely I have sinned against Your Word,

against Your judgments,

against Your promises,

against Your mercies,

and against Your grace.

Surely I have sinned against my own conscience,

and against the holy movements of Your Spirit within me.

Yet I call upon You, for You are merciful and gracious.

Your steadfast love endures forever.

I call to You for forgiveness

because great are Your compassions toward me in Jesus Christ.

I call to You to be gracious to me

because Your mercies never come to an end.

I humbly confess to You, O Lord,

that I am not worthy 

to receive and enjoy 

Your blessed love and forgiveness,

Yet my faith is not in my unworthiness,

nor in my sin,

but in Jesus Christ.

It is He alone who is worthy

and in His great love,

He has united me to Himself

and made me worthy in Him 

to receive the blessings of Your favor.

I am a sinner,

and yet I am Your child in Jesus Christ,

have mercy upon me,

and make we to dwell in Him,

in whom I now thrust my sinful self,

body and soul,

for His saving salvation and protection.

Amen. 

pmwl.

I have little memory of ... Yet I cannot forget how exploitively I

“Deal bountifully with your servant, that I may live and keep your word.” Psalm 119:17

“Deal bountifully”, award me good things, reward me with good things, O Lord?

How shall I dare to ask such a thing of the Lord, O my soul?

What have I ever thought so true so as to be truly worthy of any good for it?

What have I ever desired so purely that I should receive pure goodness for it?

What have I ever said so fittingly that I am fit for reward for it?

What have I ever done so perfectly that I perfectly deserve to be awarded for it?

More to the point, O my soul,

God awards and rewards by giving what is wanted most. (Rm 1:24, 26, 28)

According to my dealing with Him, my reward, my award ought be that He not deal with me, O my soul,

For how often have I ran faster and further than Jonah to avoid dealing with Him, with His Word.

How is it, O my soul, that I have little memory of what I chose to deal with rather than the Lord,

Yet I cannot forget how exploitively I have dealt with the goodness of the Lord.

And yet, O my soul, it is through my exploitation of the Lord’s goodness,

That the Lord deals bountifully with me.

Mark well, O my soul, this Lord came, even Jesus Christ,

to the exploiters to be exploited by me and by all,

so that He might own my exploitation of God’s goodness,

and thus be awarded, be rewarded by God, 

according to my exploitation.

Mark well, O my soul, this Lord Jesus Christ,

Deeply exploited by me through the ministers of my sin,

Deals even more bountifully by asking that I be forgiven,

That I not be awarded, be rewarded according to my sins.

Mark well, O my soul, this Lord Jesus Christ, crucified,

Deals with the reward of God’s wrath that I have earned,

And receives the award of death I compete daily for in my sin.

Mark well, O my soul, this Lord Jesus Christ, resurrected,

Deals with my death by receiving the reward of resurrection,

And awards the words of eternal life to the exploiters

so that we might become the servants of the Lord.

How shall I ask that the Lord deal with me bountifully, O my soul?

I shall ask because it is only out of His bounty that the Lord spoke His Word to me, making me alive to live as His servant.

I shall ask because it is only out of the bounty of the Lord still speaking His Word to me, that I continue to live as His servant.

I shall ask because it is only out of His bounty of the Lord continuing to speak His Word to me, that I shall be kept alive forever as His servant.

Have mercy, O Lord!

Have mercy and deal bountifully with me, that I may live and keep Your Word through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

- pmwl